Infidelity in the Hood

Drama beset the patronage at the watering hole when an irate woman poured opaque brew on the other without remorse!

It was a reaction to the taunting woman’s leakage of information that the ever trucking hubby was oblivious of what was taking place when he was away.

The grapevine was replete with news that missus was in the habit of luring a young man to her matrimonial home.

This time round, however, after a tip-off, hubby arrived in the hood at the right time as the youthful intruder took refuge behind a pit-latrine. After incessant knocks at the gate, hubby had sent signals that he had arrived…

At this point, the romantic intruder was ordered to go behind the pit-latrine as the gate was being opened. After this, he should find a chance to take to his heels…

As soon as hubby entered the premises, and was about to enter the main house, he heard some foot stomping sounds in the direction of the loo and by the time he went to check, the young man had scaled the wall fence and run away like a stallion!

Hubby confronted missus to find out why there should be some planned escape that coincides with his arrival. The woman vehemently denied any knowledge of what hubby was talking about!

As the commotion persisted accompanied by some rantings from the pair, patrons began to offer insight into the source of the incident.

As Lazzo listened intently a man was talking about ‘fast lane women’ of the neighbourhood who were expected to take over the void left by the foreign women haboured at various spots in the locality to a point of permanent residence.

“Such women had formed a g lobby against those women because some men found occasional comfort in those brothels, in fact, those are ‘illegal brothels’ because the original meaning of a brothel means that a group of women are taken care of an establishment including medication,” he continued,”It means that the proprietor ensures that these businesspersons are free from infectious diseases and anyone who has gone out there in the world knows these issues,” he concluded with an air of authority as he took a long swig from the plastic mug.

“But it is still not enough to make sure they are free from venereal diseases because the situation gets critical with the prevailing HIVAIDS problem,” said another man seemingly with intent to shoot down the previous speakers’s assertion.

“But frankly speaking, although we call these women by many names that are not pleasant, they still offer a good service!,” intoned another man as he returned from the counter clutching a plastic mug of opaque brew like it was some fragile container!

In fact, the man’s articulate handling of the brew was the talk of the hood to an extent where it was asserted in the aent of an abrupt fall, the man would still uphold the container of alcohol without a spill!

However, Lazzo dismissed this as a malicious joke about the man’s insatiable lust for alcoholic drinks because his hands shook when in a sober mood and only stabilised when there was a shot of alcohol in his bloodstream.

Some men were trying to restrain the victim of the alcoholic splash from turning the episode into further turmoil by taking it easy because going beyond limits would invite the long arm of the law.

Patrons could see the woman’s wet top cling to her breasts as she ranted at her aersary who was behind the spread of ‘news about infidelity in the hood’ which had ultimately gone to hubby who up to now had gathered no aorta of evidence against missus.

“I hear the man has become a laughing stock in the hood because he has let the woman go to town about her romantic aentures!,” said another man as he passed the mug to his left and almost immediately was taken by his intended neighbour.

He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and laughed loudly as a few faces beamed with amusement in silence.

Their exuberance was apparent in some smiles that seemed to resemble a hidden closet of secrets.

Lazzo observed that the issue of infidelity was an ages-old chapter in a long novel whose pages would go round the world in form of a ply of paper!

This is because the matter was multi-national and involved both sexes in a seemingly never- ending unfolding phenomenon.

“There is this bizarre stoy of a woman whose hubby who was a truck driver locked her up whenever he was going out of town. But the woman had another idea as she cut the window opener with a borrowed hacksaw delivered to her through the same window,” he continued as Lazzo blinked with interest “when he got back, she was still there but was going in and out of the window everyday he was away.”

At the time he was going away, she was not in the house but on return, she knocked a small hole on the window through which she opened the window with a piece of wire. On his return, he discovered that she had been sleeping in the house all that time!

The man continued that there were several relationships in the hood still hidden with similar patterns where men were outwitted.

The latest resurfaced at the watering hole where it was revealed that some newly-born baby resembled a familiar face at the watering hole.

There were several suspects including Lazzo.

“This is some cleverly contrived theory which has yet to be proved,” he said to the fraternity in the midst of laughter.

Sometimes, such occurrences provided the much needed glamour in a troubled world for many people who found the watering hole quiete a worthwhile retreat that facing a nagging missus who may clobber hubby to a pulp if she had a chance.

The hood was replete with stories in the hood where women were clobbering their menfolk in style!

Source : The Times of Zambia

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